You had a whirlwind romance, and it was glorious. It started with a sun-drenched walk along a sandy beach and a frozen margarita from a swim-up bar. Your skin glistened, and the breeze smelled like citrus and pure freedom. You felt light, present, and unstoppable, remembering what it was like to laugh, breathe, and to finish a sentence without checking your email.
Email? What's email? You're ready to become a full-time luddite with great skin.
That radiant, unplugged, full-of-life version of you was your Out-Of-Office Self. And you fell hard. Head over heels. Ready to propose on the second date and elope on the third.
But now the honeymoon is quite literally over, and you're staring at a suitcase that despite incredible advances in technology still won't unpack itself. Your inbox has needs that you have no desire to meet. Your manager wants "just a quick sync." And the Slack and Teams pings seem to have unionized. God help us all.